5 Common Relationship Problems in Christian Dating

Link: http://missaleck.com/5-common-relationship-problems-in-christian-dating/

(1) Not acknowledging God individually and together:

Proverbs 3:6 states that we should acknowledge God in ALL our ways, so that He can direct our thoughts, actions, and decisions for the good. This scripture is applicable to friendships, dating, and especially marriage.

Since God is the wisest one anyone has come to know, why not ask His advice. Should I date this person? What questions should I ask him/her? What should I expect from him/her as a partner?

I’ve asked these questions myself and can contest that God answered them ALL! I may not have liked the answer He gave every time, but nonetheless, He is wise and didn’t want me to experience unnecessary pain and waste.

(2) Using social media as an outlet:

Emotions can easily become viral now and days. Posting comments and photos on social networks can fuel private quarrels and cause avoidable damage. So I caution you reader, when your boo gets your nerves, don’t put ‘em on blast! Create boundaries and enforce limitations. (Proverbs 2:11/KVJ Discretion will protect you; understanding will watch over you)

(3) Venting TOO much to others instead of your partner:

In the same fashion of creating boundaries, strive to keep certain things between you and your partner. This is not to say do not vent…but do so in “good measure” to those who are trustworthy...the ultimate trustworthy one being God.

Venting to the wrong people, and even telling TOO much business to trustworthy folks is potentially damaging to your relationship because it opens you up to gossip, criticism, and opinions…not all of which are good or wanted. So vent to your partner when you get the urge to do so. (James 5:16/NLT Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.)

(4) Holding your emotions inside:

Holding your tongue too long creates an invisible ticking bomb on the inside. You know it’s there, you may even ignore it. But that bomb has an expiration time and it WILL go off. God forbid you pop off on an innocent bystander or harshly to your mate! Take the time out to express your emotions [specifically as you can] and give yourself peace of mind.

Don’t be overly “spiritual” either. God will fight your relational battles, but you have to participate in winning the victory too! Speak up, and do so respectfully.

(5) Lack of honesty:

In my opinion, every relationship should have honesty, PERIOD. This is especially true for dating folks.

And in my eyes, dishonesty is the same as lying. I would rather a person let me know up front what I’m dealing with. Thereafter, I can adjust as I need to, to make clear decisions as to whether or not I should build a relationship and what type of relationship we should have.

Also, be real with yourself. Every relationship is not intended for dating or longevity. Some folks should stay associates! This is especially true of those who are indecisive and inconsistent. If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and waddles like a duck, call it for what it is.

In short, look for honesty in other and be honest with yourself as to whether it is wiser to pursue a relationship or to walk away.

Twinker Davis loves God, collard greens w/ cornbread, and her hometown Detroit.  Current endeavors include writing, www.lovelytwinker.com, and the promotion of practical, applicable advice. Want to know more? Follow her at Twitter© www.twitter.com/LovelyTwinker and visithttp://twinkerdavis.blogspot.com/ !

Be A Snake! (4/18/2008 ORIGINAL)

Have you ever seen a snake go back to its old skin? I know this question is unusual, but roll with it…

I have yet to see that happen, given it’s a natural thing for a snake to remove its old exterior in order to reveal the new. This is also true for anyone trying to become better in this life.

For y'all educated folks, I searched the internet to learn more. Wikipedia stated that a snake removes its entire outer skin at once. And this is done several times a year.

As it relates to me, I'm getting older and I have to handle things like a REAL woman should (i.e. responsibly, wisely, etc). Old, ungodly, un-progressive thinking and behavior should be done away once and for all! This does not mean I will change all of my ways overnight. We know this happens through the renewal of the mind by God’s word (Romans 12:2). It does, however, express the necessity to make a resolve to change AND perform actions that align with that resolve (James 2:14). In fact, the resolve(s) have to be re-established several times throughout my lifetime.

Without a resolve, one is half new…and what’s the sense in being half-way new? Wearing a laid, brand new outfit is bogus if a person’s drawers and undergarments are dirty. If he/she proclaims newness, it must be demonstrated by an entire renewal…not just a visible change or fulfilling minimal requirements.

Additionally, "before the new skin is shed, the snake's vision is blurred. After the dead, decapitated skin is removed, the snake's vision is clearer." I don't know about you, but I intend on removing any old thing that is preventing me from perceiving all things right and according to God’s word. Even if means I have do be disciplined and let go of things I really want.

"[The] primary purpose of shedding is for the snake's growth; it also removes external parasites." Need I say more? In order for anyone to obtain something, or put on something new, that old stuff has to come off...whether it's dysfunctional relationships, negativity, pride, fear, shyness, etc, lay aside those weights and press towards YOUR high calling in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:14). 

There’s a position in life I’m destined to occupy, and I want to get there punctually. Snakes don't have to consult their associates to find out if the time is right for a personal change. Like NIKE® they "JUST DO IT"!. 

To all my readers, I challenge you take off that "parasite" that’s doing nothing but hitching a free ride. Be the type of person who is unrelentingly determined to become better. Because, trust me, I'm going get mines. The question is: are you willing to shed the old to get the new? Be a snake! (Matthew 10:16).

2nd Corinthians 5:17 (KJV; emphasis mines)

There for if any man be in Christ, he IS A NEW CREATURE:

OLD THINGS ARE PASSED AWAY;

BEHOLD, ALL THINGS ARE BECOME NEW.

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